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FAO: Iron distance and other Fear-distance (TM) racers

PostPosted: 02 Dec 2010 22:40
by The Fear's PA
Good evening,

With the increasing popularity of iron distance races, The Fear has found it necessary to employ a personal assistant to keep track of the demand for pant-wetting, dribble-inducing nightmares.

Please would you be so kind as to pop your iron distance attempts below, along with your "worst fear" to help us out at this busy time of year as races fill up faster than you can say "what have I done, I feel ill". Refusal to log your race will be taken as a signal to hide a particularly fragile state of mind and may result in The Fear's very special attention.

The Fear would like to reassure you that this delegation of duties won't affect the high standard of service you have come to expect and to take this opportunity to remind you that your race is now closer than you think :twisted:

Yours on behalf of
Mr The Fear

Re: FAO: Iron distance racers

PostPosted: 02 Dec 2010 22:46
by Bendy Ben
Event : Challenge Henley with the IK

Fear : Not finishing within the cut offs.

Ps - I've moderated this to make it a sticky topic

Re: FAO: Iron distance racers

PostPosted: 03 Dec 2010 11:06
by albinolock
Event: Challenge Henley

Fears:
Not making it to the start line in good condition due to inconsistent training
Not making swim cut off due to fast flowing river in first 1.9km upstream
Not being able to complete the hilly bike route in time
Not being able to run because of hilly bike section
Being beaten by Ben and IK

Re: FAO: Iron distance racers

PostPosted: 03 Dec 2010 13:51
by chappers
Event : Ironman Arizona

Fears : Getting runner's stomach on the run (yes, I'm sh*tting myself that I'll sh*t myself)

Re: FAO: Iron distance racers

PostPosted: 03 Dec 2010 15:37
by Sir Jibbenstein
Event: Ironman Germany (Frankfurt)
Fears: Not finishing
Not being able to run off the bike properly (well, properly for Ironman that is)
Suffering amnesia about parts of the course (i.e. not remembering what happened in T2 again)

Re: FAO: Iron distance racers

PostPosted: 03 Dec 2010 18:57
by wannabetri
Event: Ironman Arizona
Fears:
Not beating Darren and Chappers out of the Water
Not posting a faster bike split than Darren and Chappers
Getting caught up in another one day apoplectic weather storm on race day
Being passed by Chappers on the run, stumbling around looking for the imaginary aid station with massage tables that Darren claims to have seen in 2010
Not going sub 11 hours

Re: FAO: Iron distance racers

PostPosted: 03 Dec 2010 19:22
by Cpt333
wannabetri wrote:Event: Ironman Arizona
Fears:
Not going sub 11 hours


I presume you mean not going sub 10 right? You have a whole year to train, man up and set a real goal!

Re: FAO: Iron distance racers

PostPosted: 03 Dec 2010 20:36
by wannabetri
SSSssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Re: FAO: Iron distance racers

PostPosted: 04 Dec 2010 09:55
by Jack Hughes
Does it have to be about IM?

I can see a lot of fear opportunities at wensleydale:

1) I only do enough training for about 90 mins of racing. This will take me 6 hours.
2) about 2/3 of the field make it to the start line. The remaining 1/3 are too scared
3) I am terrified of water - and this will be 1800m in a very deep cold lake and will take me about 45 mins. I will be cold as well as scared
4) quite looking forward to the bike - so long as I don't have to do a run/swim. Which I do.
5) the run is a half marathon up a mountain. Not hilly. Just straight up. With survival bags.
6) however, the 6 miles down will be fun. With lots of ankle breaking opportunities if any thing is left by then

The only thing worse would be having to do the ascents in a lift

Re: FAO: Iron distance racers

PostPosted: 04 Dec 2010 10:38
by The Fear's PA
Jack Hughes wrote:Does it have to be about IM?


Like IronMan, The Fear (TM) has seen the untapped opportunities that his brand is currently missing out on. So, in his words, "if, in the build up to your race you want to wet yourself and cry like a little girl to anyone that'll bear the screechy, whiny noise and potentially face walking around in circles talking to yourself during it" then he would be only be too happy. Pop your races and fears below, change your incontinence underwear and The Fear will be along shortly.

Yours on behalf of
Mr The Fear

p.s. you have caught The Fear's special attention. He's reviewed your list. Please see responses below

Jack Hughes wrote:I can see a lot of fear opportunities at wensleydale:

1) I only do enough training for about 90 mins of racing. This will take me 6 hours.
The Fear wrote:6hrs? hahahaha

2) about 2/3 of the field make it to the start line. The remaining 1/3 are too scared
The Fear wrote:you fall into the wedge shape of the pie

3) I am terrified of water - and this will be 1800m in a very deep cold lake and will take me about 45 mins. I will be cold as well as scared
The Fear wrote:good, I may ask the unseenlurkinghorror to wander down on race day :twisted:

4) quite looking forward to the bike - so long as I don't have to do a run/swim. Which I do.
The Fear wrote:see fear number 6

5) the run is a half marathon up a mountain. Not hilly. Just straight up. With survival bags.
The Fear wrote:don't forget yours

6) however, the 6 miles down will be fun. With lots of ankle breaking opportunities if any thing is left by then
The Fear wrote:and if you get that far